What do toddlers eat?

Nothing.

The answer is absolutely nothing.

Unless it's a day you think they are going to eat nothing so have nothing prepared.

Then they eat everything.

Absolutely everything.

I can make her a plate of food just yesterday she ate willingly and amazingly.  She will eat none of it.

I can serve her something she's never eaten in her life, and she'll scarf it down.

Trying to go with the flow is kind of hard when you kid constantly throws curve balls!

For example tonight I had teriyaki chicken at a sushi place with some friends.  Usually she wouldn't touch chicken with a sauce.  No way, no how.  It would not pass her lips.  She ate several bites before the pound of rice she ate beforehand got the better of her stomach and she was done. 

Yummy food not touched...

But the steak I cooked the other night, that she typically loves to death?  Nothing.  Not a single bite.

Talk about frustrating! 

But this about sums up life with a toddler.  Sometimes they are everything you thought they would be and sometimes, well sometimes they throw you for a loop and make you dizzy. 

Put a coat on her already!

So it's hard to believe for some people, but I promise, dads care about their kiddos.  We care a lot. 

But it doesn't stop some people from deciding that dad has no clue what is going on and giving advice no one needs or wants.

Case in point.  At the playground the other day.  We have a small playground in our neighborhood and I decided it was beautiful outside and baby girl needed to run off energy safely and without me being her climbing apparatus. 

It's 72degrees outside.  SEVENTY TWO.  That's summer weather.  So baby girl was in jeans and a teeshirt.  (see photo below)

Summer outfit for the summer weather!

Needless to say, another family was there.  The mother and I struck up a conversation, not unusual.  But about half way through our conversation she began to talk about the weather.  Then she did it.

"Yeah, you don't think she needs a jacket?  I constantly have to remind my husband that the kids need more clothes on."

Innocent?  Maybe. 

Obnoxious?  Yes.

Listen, I know how to dress my kid.  All dads do.  It may not match all the time, but it's not because dad did her clothes.  It's because my husband has horrible fashion sense!

Anyway, I just smiled and went about my business teaching baby girl how to do the slide.  I couldn't even come up with a witty retort to her statement. 

And for the record, baby girl decided it was so beautiful, she wanted nothing to do with me or my camera.  She took off in the grass and had the best time in the sunshine.  We've been cooped up too long! 

Curly hair everywhere!

When you are given the gift of a daughter, there are so many things people tell you about.  The cute little dresses, the pink explosion everywhere, and the lovely little dollies for playing house.  But one thing no one seems to mention is the hair. 

Our daughter was particularly blessed with hair.  Lots and lots of hair.  And it's beautifully curly. 

S.O.S!

This is our conglomerate of hair care products now!

I should mention my husband and I keep super short hair.  Wash and go is our motto in life, in everything.  Then baby girl came into our lives.  At first, her hair was easy... it was short and while It had a curl it was mostly straight.

Then one day she woke up and it wasn't straight anymore.  Neither was it short.  And we had to figure out what we were doing really quickly!

Loose curls just hanging out waiting to go to a party!

And so we started experimenting.  Boy was that fun!  I won't post any pictures of her hair during that time.  I made a promise to myself that even with the blog doing anonymous pictures I wouldn't post anything I didn't think was the best I could post.  Nothing to potentially embarrass her. 

So anyway, it took us about 4 months to figure out stuff that works.  I spent a lot of time watching videos on YouTube and reading blogs about curly hair. 

Happy pig tails!

Thankfully, now at 19 months of age, hair is just a typical part of the day.  She sits relatively well (with a pack of gummies or two) and we can experiment with fun styles!  Letting her hair grow and taking care of it has been amazing.  Curly hair is a challenge, but it is worth it! 

No I do not plan to watch the inauguration

Several people have asked me if baby girl and I are going to spend out time watching the inauguration.  The answer is no.

Donald Trump is a direct threat to myself and my family.  We will not give him air time in our household.  We wish no ill to come to him, but we do not support him or what he has the potential to do to this country.  I understand the Electoral college has voted him in, that is the American system, but that does not mean that I have to happy or accept him as something he is not. 

He is not an advocate to America.  He is not someone who will be good for America.  But he is there for at least the next 4 years and honestly I will deal with it the best I can.

But I will not be happy.

Instead, I think baby girl and I will take a walk.  We will wear our rainbows with pride and just be out and about in Nature. 


My goal is to teach her to be a good person.  Part of that is teaching her peaceful resistance.  No, you cannot always be peaceful, but when you can be, you should be.  I will teach her to march in solidarity.  I will teach her to stand up with her voice when she can.  That is important.

Part of that is teaching her to not watch something like this inauguration just because people demand you should. 

Instead here are activities I think we may participate in:

1) Finding a peaceful protest march and joining in.
2) Going to the playground and making friends with people who are also there.
3) Tending our gardens to make our house beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside.
4) Working on our veggie garden space for self sustainability
5) Reorganize the office space, since I need to do that anyway! 

What things are you doing on inauguration day?

I'm so proud your dressed her in pink!

I hate this phrase.  "I'm so proud you dressed her in pink."  As if having a daughter and hating pink somehow means she'll never wear pink in her life. 

I have never, in my life, met so many people who seem completely shocked that we dress our daughter in pink, quite often actually.  It's like they think that because I have never been shy about saying I hate pink that we were going to force that on her and never let her have pink.

Well it's obvious that isn't true! 

I mean, she obviously rocks that pink like nobody's business.  Look at her sassy stance here.  Baby is looking good in her pink shirt!

Now, we do not have everything pink!  I have my limits, as does my husband.  We do not have pink car seats, pink strollers, babies dressed only in pink, or anything like that.  As baby girl gets older, if she wants more pink in her life she can have it.  But for now, we will continue to dress her cutely in her pink and watch other people just be amazed. 

Yes, she wears pink. 

Being gay and a parent

Sometimes I have to remind myself that my family is not the "norm".  It usually stems from something seemingly innocent.  A question I ask of a parenting forum.  A stroll out by myself in public with the babe where people chit chat with me.  A comment from a deli counter worker at the local big chain grocery store.

But when those moments happen, they hit me like a brick.  And that's frustrating. 

"I know she ain't ya'lls.  Where she come from?!" 

"Is your wife breastfeeding her?"

"Oh, she looks just like you.  Her poor mama must be so sad she got all your genes!"

*sigh*

We try to be as upbeat and happy as we can about our family.  We are different, and that is okay!  But when we see nothing but heteronormative relationships all around us, it is hard.  We want our daughter to grow up knowing that her family is just as acceptable and every day as everyone else's family. 

And with the current political situation in America, this just got more difficult. 

Being gay and a parent is not difficult, really.  We parent just like everyone else. 

We change diapers.
We kiss boo boos
We take screaming kiddos out of restaurants
We discipline
We hug and kiss
We love without question

Yes, I love this meme.

Yet, we do all of this with the world watching over our shoulder.  We do all of this with the far right screaming we are denying our child a "normal" upbringing (whatever normal means).  We do all of this with the far left screaming how we are saints and "just like" having a mom. 

And really, we do all of this just like everyone else, so can everyone stop talking about us like we are in a zoo for everyone to watch?  That would be great.

We are parents.  We hold our children close.  We celebrate our victories, and our set backs.  We do everything we can for our daughter.  This whole thing, is for her.  No different than any other good parent.

Our celebration of marriage being legal.  So much for her. 

Bodily autonomy and parenting wars

I have found it!  The new thing du jour! 

You cannot cut your child's hair because of bodily autonomy. 

It's the new parenting war. 

Did you know that unless you are letting your kids hair grow long and knotty and ratty, you are not respecting their bodily autonomy. 

I just can't even with that shit. 

Look, I am all for giving my child the ability to say no.  The autonomy to make big decisions about her body. 

When she is old enough.

Part of being a parent is taking care of your child.  That looks different for every parent, based on the ability they have to do such things, but it also includes some very basic things.

Bathing and hair care are very basic things. 

And it doesn't go against your child's bodily autonomy to take care of them.  I promise.  They aren't going to be more apt to let themselves be raped or taken advantage of because you trimmed their hair as a 10 month old. 

That thinking is victim blaming bullshit and it's not okay. 

So please, stop creating wars out of nothing.  There doesn't need to be a superior attitude behind not cutting your kid's hair.  It's not that big of a deal.  It doesn't create a better kid.  It just creates a kid with long hair. 

The spectacle of babywearing as a dad

Have you ever stopped 50 people at an event who just sat there and stared at you while you got something done?  Well, I have.

And it was nerve wracking!

The first time I used my meh dai in public was at Pride 2016, in a new city, in a new state, right after moving!  It was a mess. 

And everyone just stared.  I liked to think it was because I have super skills and they were impressed...

My husband says it's because they all wanted to make sure I didn't drop the baby. 

Wearing at the Renn Faire. 

So one thing about wearing as a father is the amount of ridiculous comments you get.  They rang from "Oh I can't believe how amazing you are for wearing your child!" to "Oh man, she's so spoiled by daddy huh?"  It is surreal how many people just can't help themselves from saying something. 

But I enjoy it.  Every moment of wearing is a chance for me to bond more with my kiddo and get things done.  She just sinks down into the carrier and is super content, 90% of the time.  It is amazing and connecting and awesome. 

And considering she often tries to wrap herself, I think she enjoys it! 

Is this dress long enough?

I think my friends are probably tired of me already.  I have a habit of sending them pictures and asking if this dress my kiddo is wearing is actually long enough.  I don't want to be that dad, but I also know that if it were up to me, she'd be in burlap sacks down to her ankles! 

This is my kind of outfit!  To the ankles!

Every so often, my friends get a random texts.  It usually reads "Does this look okay?" or "Be honest, too short?"

And I can tell you the answer every time...

It's never too short. 

But it's just a shirt over tights!

Learning about little girl fashion has created quite an adventure in our household!  We are very much jeans and teeshirt people.  Yet here we have this beautiful little girl who just looks good in everything!

It is fun trying to challenge our idea of what is appropriate!  I am so glad we have plenty of friends to help us along the way. 

But really, is this too short?