Lunch time!

So I am trying something new with baby girl.  With having limited mobility due to surgery complications, I have been trying to make things as simple as possible since my husband has gone back to work.

Enter lunch boxes!

Simple lunch things I can have help making the night before that I can pull out and share with the baby throughout the afternoon.

I have only done two (and apparently only got a picture of one, whoops!) but it has worked pretty well.  It is nice to have something simple to pull out of the fridge and just set out for her.

It's also nice to have things already made for me so I don't have to use my energy to think.

So for this day it was a sandwich, grapes, and pineapples and cottage cheese for me.  For her it was a little homemade lunchable... chicken deli meat, cheese, crackers, grapes, and mini pepperonis.  She ate a bit of it, but she munched on it all day, which was great for not needing to get a bunch of snacks out all day.

I highly recommend this method!  And we may even continue when I have full mobility back again.

And the best part is we are usually home, so if we want something else, we just make something else and keep that lunch for the next day.

PRIDE survival guide with children

So I have been looking around for things to take to PRIDE.  Kind of like a pride survival list of things I need when attending pride with kids.

I know the basics and I know Pride isn't in some remote desert somewhere that I won't be able to buy anything, but I feel like the always be prepared motto really comes into play when you are in a large crowd with a small child.

So baby girl is 2.  So this is our PRIDE survival guide with children!

Almost everything!

1) Sunscreen.

Sunscreen and hand sanitizer!

The reality is you can never have too much sunscreen.  There is absolutely no reason to burn while out in the sun living it up.  So bring your sunscreen, whatever that may be.  And if you have a particularly pale child, lots of cover up clothing and a hat will probably be very useful.  I find shade at Prides to be lacking.

2) Water.

Yes, you can always buy water at the vendors.  But what we learned last year was that the lines were long.  And I mean Loooooooooong.  Long enough that waiting for just a bottle of water was a waste of time we could have been visiting other vendors.  So bring water.  And with a toddler, bring a cup they can drink out of if they can't drink from a bottle.  I often forget not every child has mastered the drink from an open cup thing like mine has.

3) Snacks.

Much like water, it's just good to always have some.  You never know when the toddler is going to decide she is dying of starvation and much eat now!  And she will just start screaming EAT EAT EAT! at the top of her little lungs.




4) A place to put it all.

We are converting our old diaper bag into a command center for Pride.  It will house all the things we need.  Obviously it's easy to carry and everyone already knows you need a diaper bag with toddlers anyways, so it's not out of place.

5) Extra clothes, diapers, wipes...

Yes, this is not at the top of the list because I debated even putting it in the list.  When you have child, you must always have extra everything they put on their body and ways to clean them.  I feel like this is a gimme, but I'm going to put it so someone doesn't comment about it not being there!  And make sure it's 3 times the amount you think you might need!

6) Bathing suit

No, not everyone will need this, but you never know when a fountain might present itself on a hot day and would you really want to deny your child the joys of getting soaking wet and wearing themselves out in the process?  I wouldn't.  But I also don't want to carry around a went child afterwards, so having clothes they can get wet in is a bonus to not having to carry a wet child.


7) Medicines.

You never know when teething may strike or an owie become an issue.  So always have some acetaminophen and ibuprofen close by.  We carry that and Benadryl at all times.  You just never know!  Add in some band aids, because kiddo is obsessed, and we have our own little first aid kit!

8) Some way to contain them in a crowd.

We have multiple ways we are taking this year... and hopefully one will work.  We plan to have a wagon to carry child and stuff.  Also a great place for her to nap if she becomes tired during the day!  But if she wants to get out and walk around we also plan to have out toddler backpack leash.  Yes, I know leashes for children are super controversial in some circles.  I don't run in those circles, so I couldn't care less what others think of me and my kid with her backpack leash.  We also have a carrier I'm debating throwing in the bag just in case, but that is still being debated at the time of this writing.  You can never have too many ways to contain your child.  One has to work, right?!  Right?!!!!!!!

9) A good attitude.

Look, I know everyone puts this on this list.  But let's be serious for a moment.  Things are gonna go wrong.  It's going to be hot.  The kid is gonna be cranky at some point when she's sleepy.  You cannot control everything, no matter how awesome your bag is packed.  So being able to go with the flow is a must.  This year we are going with a 2 year old (a task itself) but I am also still recovering from the complications from surgery, so we have an added layer of something to watch out for and worry about.  But the point of pride is to get out and meet with community.  To find kin and have a good time.  Making sure you walk out of the house with a good attitude helps that.  It helps everyone to remember what this is about.  This is a riot of community coming together to remind everyone we are still here, we still demand equal rights, and we aren't going anywhere.  So go with that good attitude and have a good time.

It is worth it.  It will always be worth it.

I have not forgotten you

Sometimes life throws side winders and smacks you in the nuts.

This is one of those times.

I had surgery and as a result have had massive complications.

Which means life as we know it has been put on hold while I take medicine after medicine.

And spent some quality time hooked up to a wound vac.

Which, BTW, was super cool as a medical tool, but not so much as an accessory.

But as I heal and things are starting to get back to normal (well, as normal as they can be when you still have large, draining holes in your body) this blog will start getting some attention again.

I appreciate your patience as I work to heal.  I am not promising any schedule or exciting post.  But regardless, I have plans and drafts again!

But until there here is a picture that is our reality of healing from surgery...

The baby on one side, the wound vac on the other.  

Here's to quick healing and more blog posts!

Our Busy Bags

Have you ever wondered how to keep your little one entertained at a restaurant?  Well we found a great way! 

Busy Bags!!

Currently I redid our bags to fit the newer interests of the kiddo.

Here are the two currently in rotation that just got finished!

I keep them in pencil cases I got at the dollar store.  Easy to transport and easy to keep nicely zipped up!

This is what you find in the red one!  I got the straws from the dollar store.  A pack of 10 for a dollar.  The white squares are just stiff fabric I had in my fabric scraps and the snow flakes I cut from left over holiday cards we never sent.  I cut a small hole in the middle of each square and snowflake.  This gives the child the ability to thread these items on the straws!

This activity kept her busy earlier today, our "testing time", for about 30 minutes. That is plenty of time for a restaurant to bring you out your food!

She was so intense while doing her threading.  Each piece had to be on there just right.  She got a little frustrated with the snowflakes, as they have no give currently, but she still sat there and worked hard at this.

The second bag is super simple, but oddly kept her just as busy!  This one is filled with small animals I also got at the dollar store.  The shiny cardstock is also from my craft tote (I have a rather extensive craft tote for someone without much time to craft...).  I just got the cardstock down to manageable squares.  

The objective s to place the animals on to their own little square.  They are all dogs, so we do that then we talk about the different colors and types.  We have two dogs, so she knows a lot about puppies from just her own.  

When all was said and done, this activity kept her attention about 25 minutes.  Which at most places you are going to go with a two year old, that is plenty of time to get your food!

The whole idea here is to provide entertainment that lasts long enough to get the food you ordered and keep the kiddo from running around screaming her head off.

I have high hopes for these little bags.  As I finish up the other two, I will gladly review those as well!  I also plan to do a post on everything we take to keep the kiddo interested and not running in the aisles or screaming so loud other patrons are uncomfortable.

Freezer cooking

View of my kitchen as I work.  So much going on!

Sometimes I have to do not so fun things.  One of those is freezer cooking. I know, I know, I love cooking, but sometimes putting together 30 meals is just tiring.

Movie 1... made it an hour.

I'm gonna be unable to cook for a little while, so present me is stocking the freezer in hopes that future us are happy and full.

Part of that means I have to occupy the kiddo!

In comes that wonderful thing called screen time.  Sure, we are unlimited, but that doesn't mean we have the TV on every second of the day.

So in my quest to fill the freezer, I broke down and let her watch movies.  Movies I've been avoiding like the plague.

When in doubt... Moana

And she surprised me by not really caring for any of them.

But they occupied her in critical moments, like pulling things out of the oven or throwing things in the deep freeze.

All in all I got 20 some odd meals put up, with 2 more types to make, which will give us roughly 31 meals total for breakfast, lunch, and supper.  I want to put up a few more for breakfast, but right now I'm just trying to get suppers together.

I am happy with today's work.  Hopefully baby girl can give me one more day, but I'm thinking tomorrow might be a park day!  Get out of the jammies and get moving again.

First complete meal. 
Sloppy Joe Sliders

Park play

We had an absolutely beautiful day today, which meant going to the park!

















Baby girl has grown so much and is so confident in her world.  It is so amazing to see her just be so wonderful and fearless.  She did everything.

And of course we ended on the swings.

Because what is a day at the park without swinging for hours on end?

When citizens attack...

Have you ever had someone physically grab you and demand if you are your child's parent?

Yeah, I have.

And it happened at McDonalds.  Of all places.  Or maybe the perfect place to snatch a kid if you are a creep?  Who knows.

Either way, I'm putting this out there so people see some of the shit that doesn't get talked about with gay parenting.  The asinine amount of people who don't think your kid is yours.

So we were eating at McDonalds.  Myself, and 2 friends who both also had their kids.  They finished up early but we were still eating.  Their kids a 18months and 3, so sitting patiently is not their strong suit.  They went on ahead to toddler gym while I got baby girl settled to actually eat her lunch.

We were done, finally, and I tossed trash then grabbed baby girl to head up the street to gym.

Then it happened.

This woman, who I didn't even notice before the incident, came running up as I went to open the door.  Grabbing my left arm, which had my kid in it, whirled me around and demanded to know if I was allowed to take this kid somewhere.

What?

Excuse me?

Who the fuck are you?

I kinda stood there stunned for a minute.  Is this really happening?  Loudly in McDonalds?  Where we go WAY too often for this shit?  huh?

I stammered out that yes, I was her dad and we were leaving.  Instead of listening to me, this woman physically blocks my exit from McDonalds.

Now look, I'm not a big burly man... okay well I'm big but not burly.  I am also a pacifist who is rather non violent.  But she was really starting to piss even me off.

I kindly asked her to move, but I doubt she heard me over all her screaming.

"Where is her mother?"

"Are you legally related to her?"

"Where is her mother? Why is she not here?"

Because apparently being a stay at home father isn't a thing around these parts... and obviously her mother must be called immediately.

"She doesn't have a mother.  She's being raised by myself and my husband."  I try to be direct in these situations.  I mean, worse comes to worse she's a homophobe as well as an asshole.

She kept physically grabbing my arm and trying to prevent me from leaving.  All because my child is my child and she couldn't grasp a man having a child on his own.

"I'm going to call the cops!  Are you allowed to take this child?"  She kept screaming louder.

At one point the cashier that we typically deal with made the statement "Well he brings her in all the time", trying to defend me, which I appreciate.  But asshole lady was having none of it.

"Are you allowed to take her?!"

Finally I had enough.  Look, we all hit a breaking point.  My kid was clinging to me, out of fear, and I was thoroughly embarrassed... it was time to end this.

"Look trash, fuck off" was the last thing I said to her before pushing past her and going to the car.

Got baby girl in her seat and drove to toddler gym... and sat there for a minute texting with my husband.  Because I was shaking.  Because holy fuck.

My last text to him from that morning was "Yeah, pretty sure cops are gonna show up at our door..."  Because at that point, I was pretty sure she was calling the cops and giving my license plate number.  At least everyone at toddler gym knows me and can vouch for the fact that she is indeed my kid.

The cops never came... but man I was shook up for the rest of the day.  All because one woman wouldn't settle to listen.

And this is a part of gay parenting you don't often hear about.

Look, I completely understand being on the look out for child predators.  Paying attention so you can help someone in need is great for humanity.  But shouting and not listening... I mean, fuck.  What did she think?  I would drop the kid with her and run away?  I mean, really?  Even child predators aren't that stupid, and they are pretty stupid.

So the long story to give you a glimpse into life here.  It's not always pretty and fantastic.  It's sometimes scary as people grab you and scare your kid.  It's sometimes not okay in the slightest... and a reason why I won't go back to that eatery for a while.  Last thing I want to do is face the workers after that mess of a show.  I'm embarrassed... partly because of the woman and partly because I didn't know what to say or do to stop her.