Goals for 2018

I'm not great at following the advice in fortune cookies...

Everyone always asks me my goals or new year resolutions.  I mean, isn't that what you do on January 1, decide you want to change everything about yourself and get to it?!

Yeah, me too.

And I fail every year.

Because my goals are always based on superficial things.

I want to read more.

I want to lose weight.

I want to cook more.

Those are all great things, but they have no intrinsic value to me.

So this year I am trying something new.

First, I'm not setting stone resolutions.  I'm setting goal ideas for myself.  Really only ONE goal idea.

And I'm hoping that works better.

As I have grown over the last few years, I have learned so much.  And becoming a parent has made me want to reconnect with my own heritage a little more.  We spend so much time making sure baby girl is connected to her people, that I realized I was not as connected to mine as I wanted to be.  As I still WANT to be.

I have found myself on a radical shift in my focus of life since moving to this home.  I want to connect in ways I never wanted to before.  Call it a quarter life crisis (I am not quite middle age yet.. at least I hope not!), call it a weird reaction to having a kid, call it whatever you want honestly.  But I have a need to reconnect in ways I didn't before.

So that is my goal.  My idea for 2018.  Reconnect.

My word this year is health.  But it's so much more than physical health.

It is mental and emotional health.  It is ancestral health.  It is finding where I fit in this world and exactly where I want to go with my life.

It's whole being health.

And that is it.  That's all I want this year.

To find more of me in this great big world.  To lose more of who society expects me to be, who I've been for other people, and who I continue to try to avoid being but sometimes fail.

I want to be more me.  And proudly more me.

As flamboyant as I am naturally.

As quiet as I am naturally.

As honest as I am naturally.

Those are all things I want to be more of.  And I'm okay with the fact that not everyone will like that.  It's okay.  You don't have to like me.  But I can no longer pretend to be the me you think you like.

Anyway, that's my 2018.  Whole being health.