It's not political, it's life

After our shitty experience at the toddler gym one time, I make sure my daughter wear's her "Love Wins" shirt every single time we go.  Every. Single. Time.  Why?  Because I am not ashamed of who I am and the family I have been so lucky to have around me. 

It's not political for me.  It's life. 

Yet, every single person has said I shouldn't make my child so political.  She's just a baby, she's too young, blah blah blah.  It's not political, it's life.

Last visit to the gym, baby girl's bestie wore his Love Wins shirt as well.  Because it's important to show solidarity in numbers.  It's important to know that we are here in numbers.  It's not political, it's life. 

Have you gotten the message yet?  I am not making my child a political tool.  I am working hard to make her life better.  To make sure she won't face shitty behavior because her fathers are gay.  We are a gay family raising a beautiful little girl who deserves to not be bullied or belittled because of her parents.  These shirts help represent the reality that love has won.  Love wins.  Every day.  It's not political, it's life. 

Seeing him come into gym wearing his shirt was a boost.  She is not alone.  She will always have friends who accept her and her family, welcome her with open arms, and will fight for her.  It's not political, it's life.

It's my life.  It's my husband's life.  It's my daughter's life.  We are here, we are queer, get over it. 

Her corner of the living room

It seems that  no matter how hard we try, each room in our house has a small corner that belongs to the kiddo.  We tidy that, but she is the queen of messes.  And I'm not sure I would have it any other way. 

So here is her little corner of the living room.  Obviously she's allowed to go anywhere, our whole house is baby proof, but this is where she keeps her open ended toys, a few other toys, and her dolls.  Yes, we keep her dolls, for now, in the living room.  It's just where they landed after the holidays and I'm not sure where else to put them.  So here they live, happily. 

Here is the main toys right now.  These toys rotate quite often.  This is a wooden train set and tegu magnetic blocks.  She's had these in her corner since January and honestly she's starting to avoid them.  So they'll probably change soon. 

Here are some lost and found toys that just have stayed here since we came home from a quick trip back home to see a friend's new baby.  Oh, and there is her object permanence box.  I have no clue how that got down stairs, but whatever, she's enjoying it. 

Her dolls.  Yes, I realize some of these aren't really Montessori.  I don't really care.  This is one area where I feel that sometimes my child's happiness is more important than anything.  So she has a freaking talking Elmo doll.  That I don't like, but holy hell it brings her so much happiness I couldn't imagine taking it away from her.  Also among the dolls you can see a couple teddy bears, a baby Moana, a Lilo, a Pocahontas, and a ginormous teddy bear.  She actively plays with them all, so they actively stay in our living room.  You can also see a rouge book or two that have made their way downstairs.  All well, we read a lot. 

There is also a Moana blanket we keep on the big bear and a little purse type thing someone gave her.  The blanket is more practical on cold mornings and the purse is just something she drags along because it has butterflies on it. 

Also downstairs is her toy kitchen.  Another not so Montessori thing that we didn't buy her, but weren't able to refuse.  She likes it okay and uses it to set up elaborate meals. 

So there you have it.  Her little corner of the living room, plus her toy kitchen, which is in our kitchen area. 

Introducing unit studies, toddler style

As baby girl approaches 2 years old, I find it important to incorporate a little more structure into her learning times.  I think the best way to do this is by doing loose unit studies.  Monthly themes, if you will. 

Totally Awesome Toddler Adventures

I've been following this blog for a little while now, her daughter is slightly older than baby girl (2 months I believe).  She basically already has everything figured out.  Why reinvent the wheel when I can just attach it to the car and go?  ]

She also has a Facebook page... Totally Awesome Toddler Adventures Facebook

So I am looking over and gathering supplies in order to achieve her level of toddler awesomeness. 

Here is kind of what I am thinking, at least for now. 

Baby girl turns 2 in June.  That seems like a great month to start these unit style studies.  That gives me a little while to get all my shit together and ready to go. 

June will be "All About Me".  This is a super simple one and plays well into her birthday. 

July will be Space!  I am obsessed with space and our nursery was set up in space at our old house and kind of loosely spacey here.  The owner of the Totally Awesome Toddler Adventures blog just recently did a space theme and posted about it on her FB page.  It was awesome and I was jealous of the little toddler there! 

August will be The Garden!  We are not having a garden of our own, but I figure we can look at books and get out and play in the dirt a little. 

And that's as planned out as I've gotten.  I plan to really dive into the blog and FB page one night so I can plan a little more in depth what I want to do.  I know there are themes of apples and transportation and so much more!  Go stop by and check it out!  Then come back and tell me what your favorite idea for a  unit study is! 

Screen time... our philosophy and our reality

Before becoming parents, we were like everyone else.  We had ideas, goals, wishes, dreams, and things we swore up and down we would never do. 

Then we were handed this baby who was a preemie and all that went out the window. 

Well, not really, some of it did. 

One of the things we never really thought about was screen time.  Would be approve of it?  Would it be okay?  Would we prescreen everything and only let her watch "age appropriate" things? 

The short of this post is that we approve, and love, screen time.

The bigger question people seem to have is when it is appropriate and when do we allow it. 

We don't really limit her screen time.  Obviously we have one TV, that is hooked up to a laptop because we don't have cable and reception with the rabbit ears is shaky at best (we get one station really... just one).  So we rely on amazon prime mostly to give her an opportunity to enjoy some of the shows we did as kids.  Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and Sesame Street being the big two. 

We have added in some new and improved kids shows of today, Daniel Tigers Neighborhood being number one in her book. 

With that said, if we are in the living room, chances are the TV is on.  And she mostly ignores it.  Even sometimes when it's shows she normally watches.  Because TV has never been an off limits subject here, we firmly believe that she has learned to self regulate.

But during the day, she and I also don't spend a lot of time in the room with the TV, so it's not the main focus of her day.  We are typically upstairs or out and about doing things together and with friends. 

I do encourage it's use when I'm cooking an involved meal that she really can't help with, though that is rare, or if I'm baking a lot and need her safely away from the oven.  That is really the only time I actively encourage her to go watch TV. 

Will she continue to self regulate?  I don't know, only time will tell.  For now this is working and so we'll keep working it! 

Pi day play dates!

Yes, dates, with an s.  We had two!  It was a whirlwind of a day and I realized all too quickly I got no useable pictures at the second playdate.  Whoops. 

But first things first, let's marvel at my baking skills.  I made an apple pie, and put a pi symbol on it.  Because I go all out for pie. 

Second thing, let us marvel at her outfit.  I love it!  So much. 

Now that is out of the way, on to our day!

First playdate was at the place with the rat they want to convince you is a mouse.  There were so many games and fun things.  And pizza.  Though it was earlier than many of our playdates and I think that played a role in baby girl's behavior.  It wasn't the best.  But she did spend over an hour in the car on the way there.  But all in all we had a good time!  And she loves to drive things.. cars, boats, motorcycles... She's one we are gonna have to watch in the future. 


The second play date was at our usual Tuesday stomping grounds, the toddler gym.  She just loves this place.  And this week was special!  She finally mastered jumping on the trampoline!  She's been working on this since we first went there almost a year ago.  Now she has mastered it.  On to her next new task... learning to walk the big round balance beam style thing.  She can get up there but she's still nervous to stand up and walk.  But we will get there. 

After all this we came home and just relaxed the rest of the day.  How was your pi day? 

A day in the life of my toddler

So this is our day. 

She typically wakes up around 8am.  Lately, due to her being a toss and turner I've been pushing her to wake up a little later and when she doesn't I hand her the kindle preloaded with Daniel Tiger so she can just relax for a few minutes.  It never lasts long...

Not quite ready to wake up yet

After wake up and papa wake up it's potty and diaper time.  I take her diaper off and set her up on the little potty in her room.  She'll sit there for about 5 minutes before she's ready to be done.  So diaper on and downstairs we go.

She gets a handful of fruit (this week is cantaloupe) while I get her hot breakfast ready.  It is usually sausage and eggs, sausage and pancake bites, or oatmeal.  It really depends on how much time I have in the morning. 

Just hanging out playing with

blocks

After breakfast is play time.  She dumps all her baskets, builds towers that she knocks down immediately or whatever she wants to do downstairs. 

Then a snack, if she wants one.  That can be some goldfish crackers, animal crackers, or chips.  Sometimes it's a banana, but lately she hasn't wanted that, so we make do. 

Diaper change and potty time! 

This is where the routine can vary depending on the day.  If it's a day we are going out of the house for gym or the park or some other fun activity, then we get dressed for the day, showered, and head out for lunch with our friends.  We almost always eat at least one lunch out with friends, which is always fun! 

Fun day at the aquarium

Then our out of the house activity... gym or park or nature center or aquarium. 

Now if we are staying home then we move upstairs at this time for our lessons time.  We will spend time in her room working on the materials you see on her shelves or reading books or all of the above.  We typically do this for an hour or so until she shows she is done.  Then we move on to lunch at home, which is always simple.

Nap time!  This can be anywhere from 130 to 3pm for the start time!  She naps typically for 2 hours. 

After nap is a little less scheduled. First is potty and diaper change. Usually I put on an episode of Sesame Street so I can cook supper. 

Supper comes next!  If she eats is a completely different story! 

Play time with daddy...

at the grandparents house.

Play time with daddy, since he is home finally after a long day at work. 

Daddy does a diaper change and gets her ready for bed in her pjs.  Then does a cup of milk for her to make sure her belly is full before bed.

Our bedtime routine starts here. 

Give daddy hugs and kisses then head upstairs.

Brush teeth and wash face.  Attempt to sit on the big potty, but that's a work in progress.

Into the bedroom.  She turns on her sound machine and humidifier, then picks a book for me to read.  We snuggle down and read her chosen book.  Then I get my night night kisses and hugs and we turn out the lights.

Some days she falls asleep in 30 seconds, some days it takes 30 minutes. 



(Yes, these pictures are from all different days (and places)!  The reality is I don't have time to take out my camera for every event she does.  I try to get a couple pictures daily, and so putting them all together you get a small glimpse into our day!  Enjoy!)

New dog whisperer in the house...

Baby girl has decided the dogs are now her responsibility.  Well, at least giving them their treats when they go into their kennels. 

Loving that she's taking over a task, we are very much encouraging it! 

Is she not the cutest thing ever?  For their part, the dogs know to go to their kennels, and we obviously are within arms reach at all times. 

But it is nice, to be honest, having an extra set of hands now. 

My child is not advanced

And I'm okay with that.

We live in a culture where everyone wants to believe their child is the smartest that ever lived and understands things way beyond their actual level.  I read about it all the time in parenting groups.  The poster makes a statement about how they are using this technique, then follows it up with "not to brag, but little timmy is very advanced for his age" and I cringe.  Every time.

It's like we cannot accept that our children aren't some savant who should be practically perfect in every way. 

I reject that notion. 

My child is right where she needs to be.  She can identify the color green, her absolute favorite, and still poops in her diapers.  She runs away from me at playgrounds when she doesn't want to leave and she doesn't understand a word of my long winded explanation about why we cannot spend our days watching Daniel Tiger or Sesame Street.  I like to think she gets it, but let's be real here, she doesn't.  And that's okay.

That's the point.

It is okay that my daughter is 19 months old and at a 19 month old level. 

In fact, I encourage it! 

Children are only children once in their lives.  Why push them to be more than they are?  Why tell everyone that your kid is different?  Just let them be.

Could your kid be the next Ainan Celeste Cawley or Elise Tan Roberts absolutely! But let's be honest, it's not likely.  And that is okay! 

Embrace your child where they are. 

She fell down running away from me at the park.  That's my girl.

Packing a toddler

We travel with baby girl, quite a bit.  Through these travels, I have perfected how to pack her for the easiest dressing in the morning! 

I am going to share my secrets with you now.

I pre-match each outfit and place them in a baggie together.  I am currently using just ziplock top baggies, but I am on the look out for small clear garment bags so I can reduce my use of plastics. 

I go through each item of clothing and pick out a top, bottom, and socks and put them in the bags.  That way I have to think about absolutely nothing while trying to get her dressed while on the go. 

I then roll all the air out of the bags and pack them in her suitcase.  For most trips we pack separate suitcases, that way I have extra room to bring home any purchases without worrying about all the bags they come with! 

The suitcase is put together like this:

Outfits together, then PJs free in the suitcase, extra onesies and socks are also put in there free.  I sometimes have extra baggies that I can throw extra clothes in, but I don't stress over those.  They are so rarely used, but I know the first time I don't pack them is when I'll need them. 

And that's it.  Outfits preplanned, based on weather and cuteness, and then a few extras thrown in for safety!