Doesn't she need a mom?

Who is going to help her learn about her body?

What about when she starts her time of the month?

Who is gonna help her get her first bra?!

What about mommy and me days at school?

Infant snuggles are the best

These questions come up so often.  It seems that people don't seem to think there are single father families in the world.  Apparently not having a mother is the Worst. Thing. Ever.  Who knew?

I get really frustrated at this idea that we are not able to be there to support our daughter through everything.  Guess what everyone? 

We are capable.

If she wants a woman's touch on anything?  She is surrounded by positive strong women who will not hesitate to step up and be a confidant for her. 

We aren't raising our children in a bubble.

But we are raising them to understand that their parents are perfectly capable of being there for them, no matter what.  That the gender of your parent means absolutely nothing.  Everyone is capable of being anyone and that's okay. 

Our daughter means more to use than anyone else can understand.  We get that she may feel like she is missing something, but our goal is to show her that she is more loved than she could ever imagine.  That having a mom and a dad doesn't make you better equipped to handle life.  It just doesn't. 

Daddy reads the best!

Having someone to love you, care for you, be there for you... that makes you better equipped to handle life.
Knowing someone is always in your corner, no matter what.  That makes the world of difference to children every day.

We aren't perfect.  We will screw up.  We have screwed up!  And that's okay. 

As she grows, we grow.  As she learns, we learn. 

And no matter what, we will be here for her.  And guide her.  And love her. 

Because she's our daughter.  And that's what parents do.

Papa makes the best pillow!

 

Camping! With a toddler...

We are gearing up to go camping!  YAY!

Ahh a nice concrete jungle...

Not quite the great outdoors!

Okay, we aren't going until like October, but still, we have begun making lists to get things ready in order to know what we need to purchase to go camping! 

I feel a bit like Santa... "he's making a list, and checking it twice..."  Except instead of finding out who is naughty or nice, I'm finding out how much it's gonna cost us to get what we need to take our kid in the wilderness for a few days.  So maybe a lot like Santa.. how much am I gonna have to shell out to make everyone happy?!

See, my husband and I like to camp.  We just have never really had the time or energy. Now we have a toddler and somehow that means it's time to camp... because we have SO much time and energy, haha! 

But either way, I'm slowly putting together a wish list of things we might need.  We also need to find exactly what we do have already, just so we aren't over buying.  Since moving, our garage doesn't really have a rhyme or reason to it, but now is a great time to get it together! 

Right now I am focusing on the basics.  Food, shelter, first aid.  I'm going through our pans, and cast iron, acquiring new stuff as well as shaping up old stuff.  I also have made a list of camp fire foods I remember eating at a kid and loving.  Plus s'mores.  It's not a camp fire without burnt marshmallows and burning lips.  Also trying to get stuff to eat it off of without having to resort to paper products. 

Side of the road mulch bed?

A little better!

We have a tent, but need sleeping bags and places to sit for everyone.  Amazing we don't have those already! 

And I am pulling my boy scout knowledge to build us a kick ass first aid tackle box!  I've always wanted one of those, and I'm making it! 

Really, all I'm making is lists.  I have spreadsheet after spreadsheet.  Who knew camping as an adult was so complicated!

Do you camp?!  Tell me all your tips for camping with kids! 

Create your kiddo's "yes space"

We are really big on giving baby girl as much room to be herself as we possibly can.  Which means we have set up our whole house as a "yes space".  This is not realistic for some families, but for us it works. 

What is a "yes space"?  Simply put it is an area of your room/house where everything is baby proofed.  It is one area where your child can explore without limits.  It may just be a corner you mark off with a gate or it may be, like us, your entire house.  Whatever space you have that you can dedicate to being a space for free exploration and expression. 

One of the things we made a point to do when we moved was to create as much yes space as possible for baby girl.  We knew we would be here a while and we needed her to be able to explore her house.  This is just as much her house as my house or my husband's house.  She needed to give as much free reign as possible.  So that's exactly what we did.

While waiting for furniture and such, we went around the house and put in outlet covers and started taking notes for things like gates.  We knew we needed a dog safe space, a fire safe space (the fireplace) and something over the stairs.  Those were the priority, and so we did just that. 

Gate over the steps.  Easy way to create a yes space!

After checking out those, we went upstairs.  This was a little easier when she couldn't open doors.  We could just close off doors to rooms she wasn't allowed to be in.  We also made sure the nursery and her "big kid" room were absolutely perfect and safe for her.  This was work, but so much fun. 

So the basics to creating a safe space are easy! 

1. Get down on the kids level.  Crawl around or walk on your knees.  See things from his perspective.  Think about all the cool things you are seeing for the first time and make sure they are safe.
2. Gate off areas where you kiddo cannot go.  Or things they cannot touch.  We have the fireplace gated off and the dogs room.  Both are prime examples of things she doesn't need to get into.
3. Gate off stairs.  I understand, it's important to teach them to navigate the stairs.  But the point of the yes space is to give them an area where they can explore alone, without your intervention.  Make them safe.
4. Make sure furniture cannot fall on them.  Please please please!  If it's tall, mount it to the wall.  Take no chances.  
5. Make sure all toys or materials in the yes space are safe for baby to gum or toddler to put in their mouth.  The general rule is if it can fit through a paper towel roll or a toilet paper roll it can fit down baby's throat. 
6. Observe baby or toddler the first few times.  Make sure you are super attentive to what they touch and what they do.  See if you missed anything. 
7. Give them the freedom of the yes space!  You did it!   

As she's gotten older, and more capable to listen to "no baby, don't touch that" we try not to worry so much.  Her humidifier, for example, is very much within her reach.  She turns it on every night before bed, it's part of her routine.  We wouldn't have let her do that at 12 months, but at 22 months, she's perfectly capable and we know it is safe. 

Puppy dogs safe space from baby, also gated off!

Which brings me to my next point.  Yes spaces are constantly changing and evolving with your kiddo.  6 months ago I wouldn't have dreamed of having small toys on her shelf.  Now I feel more comfortable allowing her some smaller things, not too many, but she's not longer putting everything in her mouth.  As she gets older, things will continue to change.  If we add other children into our family, depending on their ages, things will change again.  Nothing is set in stone or permanent. 

Creating a yes space for your kid can do wonders for their self confidence and ability to self entertain.  Not having to constantly stand over them, making sure they don't get into something harmful, gives you peace of mind and the ability to go pee on your own.  Two very important things! 

I'd love to hear about your yes spaces!  Leave a comment and let me know! 

Cloth diapering

I am not a cloth diaper expert.  I am not the person to go to with really complicated cloth diapering questions.  I have no clue all the lingo or the brand names. 

But I do know that I like cloth diapering and as we move towards potty training I am ready to rely heavily on cloth to help baby girl recognize her wetness. 

So here is my attempt to explain to you how we cloth and why we cloth and our routine.  Which isn't much of a routine because we took a great big break from cloth when we had leak issues.  But I think I have those figured out now!  So we move forward. 

Freshly cleaned diapers hanging to dry

When baby girl was a newborn we chose prefolds and covers.  They were cheap, easy, and we honestly thought she wouldn't be in them long so why spend a ton of money.
We were wrong.  W.R.O.N.G. wrong.  Baby girl was premature, which meant she was super little and quite frankly didn't fit into any diaper we had. By the time she hit 6lbs, the weight everyone told us she would finally fit in the diapers, she was still too small.  We didn't start cloth diapering until baby girl was roughly 3.5-4 months old, simply because nothing we had fit her.

When everything finally fit, they were wonderful.  There was a bit of learning curve, which is to be expected.  But once we figured it all out, it worked great.  We clothed during the day and used disposables at night, because we had leak issues due to her legs being too small around for the covers to do much good after a few hours of pee. 

When baby girl finally hit 9lbs, around 6ish months, we busted out our pocket diapers, BumGenius is our brand of choice.  They aren't cheap but they aren't 30 bucks a diaper either.  We could buy them locally in a store, they had cute prints, and so we bought them.  Again, they were great.  Except in the car.  We had terrible leak issues in the car.  We now know that is called compression leaking and is pretty dang common. 

So fast forward a few more months and we moved.  Cloth diapering was not happening while we moved, just too much going on.  And then the diapers were unpacked and they stank.  Like the stink of a million pees.  So I shoved them in a drawer and we just paid the money for disposables. 

And now we are back to cloth.  We are starting to think about the possibility of the potty training process and one key factor is understanding when you are wet.  Disposables do their job too well for that.  So we are hoping cloth will give us the satisfaction of her knowing she's wet.  No pressure, just recognizing it. 

So all that to say, we love cloth!  We have missed it, we are back to it, and hopefully things go well from here on out! 

Toddler girl clothing haul, summer

So it's that time of year again.  With baby girl's recently growth spurt, see last post HERE, it was time to buy her summer wardrobe.  Now, we don't typically buy a wardrobe all at one time.  We are given items of clothing here and there, and everything just sort of adds up.  But in going through all of our clothing, she had very little 12-18, 18month items.  Which meant papa had a good excuse to go shopping!

So armed with my budget of $30 and knowing that the Old Navy in the mall was having a really great sale, off we went!  So here is what we got!

Just an overview of everything.  It doesn't look like much, but I should take this time to mention she already had a pair of jeans, 2 pairs of leggings, a couple skirts, and a handful of tops that still fit/were 18 month sizes.  So this is just the final rounding out of her wardrobe. 

We'll start with the shorts.  The top pair came form Old Navy for $4.  They are just knit shorts, great for toddler gym or playing at the park.  So cheap they can get as dirty as they want, no problem.  The jean shorts are from Target, the Cat and Jack line.  They are technically boy shorts, but meh, clothes have no gender and I thought they were cute. 

I love these skirts!  They are also $4 from old navy.  She already owned one of these, in yellow.  So we went back and bought more!  They have shorts under them, so people can stop worrying about what is under my kid's skirt for modesty.  They are light and airy and perfect to just run around in and stay cool. 

Your basic tank top.  I only bought one of these, simply because we've not done tanks before and I wanted to see how I liked it.  She gets cold kind of easy sometimes, so I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to fill her out with a lot of tanks if she can only wear them outside. 

This outfit I actually ordered online for cheap from the Children's Place.  It's a cute little rainbow skirt, which I'm a sucker for rainbows as you know, and a basic tank with a cute picture on it.  And of course the little shorts under the skirt.  I am thinking this skirt, at least, will be part of her Pride wear this year! 

And my favorite piece, this shirt!  So we were just wandering around Old Navy, looking at stuffs and people watching, and then this shirt was seen.  It is just everything I love.. rainbows and unicorns and a good saying.  It says "May all your dreams come true".  Which I feel is a very good and positive message to put out in the world!  So naturally it went into the cart. 

So this whole clothing haul, minus the rainbow skirt outfit, cost me $28.  I am always for coming in under budget!  And she now has enough clothes to get her through the spring, summer and probably well into autumn.  At some point I will have to address the pajama situation, as they are all getting too small on her now, but short I can deal with as long as they aren't too tight for her. 

Now let's just hope she doesn't have another growth spurt!   

Holy growth spurt!

You ever put your kid in something and realize that despite it fitting a week ago it no longer fits.  I think my cranky, eating, falling mess of a child just went through a major growth spurt.  What tipped me off?

This tiny little ankle peeking out at me.  A week ago this pant leg went down below her heel.  She was tripping on it going up the stairs.  This week, however, it shows us her scandalous ankle bone!  hide the child's eyes! 

Anyway, I think it's time papa got some new PJs for the kiddo... perhaps some in her size might be a good option. 

Until then, suppose we'll just have to live seeing those cute little ankles all exposed. 

*the other pant leg is up above her knee.  This is not because of said growth spurt.  She was showing me her new boo boo she got while I was in a meeting tonight.  She is super proud of that scraped knee, showing it to everyone, regardless if they want to see it or not.  Just a warning.*

OMG, what if she grows up to be a lesbian?!

I swear I have the best conversations online.  I mean, where do these people hide off the internet?  How do they function in society?  Do they lack a filter face to face as well?

Tonight I was perusing the internet parenting groups I am a part of, just enjoying my superiority as a parent*, when I ended up in a conversation about why gay people shouldn't raise children.  I often weigh into these conversations, being a real life gay guy raising a real life little girl with my real life husband.  (I swear he's real... I promise!)  I feel like I need to speak up because I actually live it, every day of my life. 

Future lesbian learning to cook?

Who knows!!!

So anyway, this woman was saying things like "Well, who will she talk to about her period?"  Me.  Or her dad.  We know how the body works and what we don't know, we have woman friends who can answer questions.

"Who is going to take her to buy her first bra?"  Her dad.  Yes, him.  That's all him.

"What if she grows up to be a lesbian?!" 

And this one gave me pause.  Did she really just ask me how I would handle my daughter growing up to be homosexual?  Really?  Really really?

So I enquire a bit more.  "What do you mean?"

"Well, you don't like women, so are you going to be able to handle your daughter liking women?  I mean, you are gay..."

I'm gay?!  REALLY?!  I never knew!

All snark aside I seriously sat here and laughed for 15 minutes.  You just asked me if I would be okay with my daughter liking women because as a gay man I don't sleep with women.  Are you fucking serious? 

Oh she was serious.  So very serious. 

So just in case anyone is wondering, I am totally okay with my daughter being a lesbian.  I could not care less who my daughter is sexually or romantically attracted to.  I promise.  I don't care. 



Oh yeah.. *please note the overwhelming sarcasm of his statement.

Sometimes it just is

Have you ever seen a picture that sums up your entire existence right now? 

Well I found one! 

Life around here is getting super busy and super complicated.  We have so much to do this year and we are hitting the ground running.  We are officially in spring and that means we need to get shit done. 

So yeah, life as we know it! 

Now if only hiding behind a hat would make it all go away....