Dear Dad

What better way to celebrate father's day than to put up a post reaching out to all the dads whose kids will come out to them this year. 

I wrote this 2 years ago now.  It still applies today.  Pass this along to any father you know who may need it.  It's important. 

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Take a deep breath, it will be okay.  I know, when you first hear the words "I'm gay" your immediate reaction may be to freak out.  That is not okay.  First, take that deep breath.  That boy in front of you saying those words?  He's still your son.  That girl who now hangs her head after telling you?  She is your daughter in need of some reassurance.  Reach your hand out, embrace your child.  They have just shared with you something that is going to forever change their life.  It's okay to have mixed feelings on the subject.  It's okay to need time.  But remember, that person in front of you talking, that is the child you have raised.  That is your child.  The one who has looked up to you, has needed your help, has been with you since they were young.  And right now, they need you again.  They need to know that you got their back on this one.

Take a deep breath, it will be okay.  The child in front of you is still the same child that he has always been.  She is no different than she was yesterday, it's just now she trusts you to open up to you about her life.  Please don't push him away.  Please don't make her feel like she is less than she was yesterday.  This is still your child.

Take a deep breath, it will still be okay.  The world hasn't stopped spinning just because your kid came out to you.  The sun is still setting tonight, it will still rise tomorrow.  There will be no cataclysmic event just because those words "I'm gay" were uttered.  If you need to take a moment to yourself, that is okay.  Just don't make a big deal about it, she doesn't need to see that her father thinks less of her.  Feel free to talk about it, all of it, but make sure it's with the right person.  Your teen who just came out?  He is not the right person to dump your fears and bigotry on.  There are people in the world who have gone through everything you are going through, seek them out.  But remember, your child just trusted you enough to let you in on their secret, treat that with respect.

Sun through the ice covered trees.  (c) Hawk

Take a deep breath, the world is still turning and everything is still okay.  No one is expecting you to be superman, and you don't have to expect that out of yourself.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and you probably find that your feelings aren't sorted out in one either.  Embrace your feelings, all the while remembering your child shared their soul with you.  Treat that appropriately.