I am no less than a mother

Recently I was doing some reading in a few groups I enjoy when I came across a father talking about how he'll never be as good as a mother because of biology.  I had to pause and kind of read that again to make sure I read it right. 

Then I sat with it, to figure out my initial reaction.

Then I got mad.

I am no less than a mother.  Biology gives XX designated people advantages to feeding children in the early days, yes, no one is denying that.  But beyond the ability to breastfeed (which I'm not knocking, don't come at me) there is not biological difference between a mother and a father. 

Except what society is telling you. 

Men shouldn't be caring.
Men shouldn't be loving
Don't show your emotions.
Man up, dammit!
Be a man
Don't be a wuss
You are so soft!
Men don't cry!
Knock it off, you're a man!

Those are not biological.  Those are societal. 

And it's time we stop believing this shit and realize we are every bit as emotional and loving as anyone else.  We are allowed to cry.  We are allowed to be hurt by something.  We are allowed to feel things.

When my daughter get hurts, she doesn't sit there wishing she had a mother in the family to hold her.

She runs to me.  She snuggles in close and lets her little hurts wash out. 

When my daughter gets excited about something, she doesn't stand there wishing she had some mother to gush to about her newest find (which at her age is usually a booger).

She runs to my husband, so excited to share. 

When my daughter gets angry, she throws her fits and doesn't wait for a mom to come hold her and tell her it's okay.

She has two dads who are perfectly capable.  And do it without a single "oh man, this isn't what men do" between us. 

So can we stop perpetuating this idea that men are somehow incapable of being emotionally present for a child?  Can we stop feeding in to toxic masculinity and ridiculous stereotypes of the patriarchal systems we can't seem to let go of.  Please.  For the sake of all our children.  Just stop.